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The image of a safety net being pulled out from underneathme came into my head and I started to panic.Paul was being stripped from me and the safety net that had been therefor "if things go wrong, go back to being Paul" was no more. Not onlythat, but neither was mum. I was beginning to see that all too clearly. I was being unreasonable I know. She in truth had never been there forme since she remarried. I guess I was asking a lot for her to suddenlyhave time for me AND accept the changes I was going through all in onego, but she WAS my mother after all's said and done.It all seemed so simple in Dr. Whaite's office with the comfort andencouragement from Lily and the doctor herself, but I found I was on myown at this point and it felt like I was stepping into a black hole withno idea of what was on the other side.Lily knocked softly on my door and asked to come in."It's all very real now isn't it?" she said."Oh Lily." I blubbed. "I think I've made a BIG mistake." Why?" What if mum's. His eyes were tired, his right cheek was red from propping it up against his hand for so long and he’d unbuttoned his dress shirt and I couldn’t help but laugh when I saw the faded image of Darth Vader staring back at me from the t-shirt underneath. ‘I need to go home, Juliet,’ he said sleepily, yawning for emphasis. I loved the way he said my name – the way ‘jul’ softly rolled off his tongue. ‘One more minute?’ I pleaded, though I knew perfectly well that I had nothing left to accomplish. He sighed and nodded and as he turned, for the first time I noticed the shape of the large instrument that he carried around with him after his evening class. I quickly put away all of my things strewn over the surface of the table and joined him at the reference desk he always stationed himself at near the door. ‘Ready my little Shakespeare?’ he teased. He slung his bag over his shoulder as I leaned over the counter and watched him rifle through his sack for the keys. He hooked the key ring.
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