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"I'm still a god-damned virgin at eighteen! For him, that little bastard! Tomorrow I will be in someone else's bed, tell him that!" Sally slammed the door from the outside.Anne was speechless, had been since she opened the door. Now the missing pieces were falling into place. Sally had made a romantic dinner and put on her smallest dress and worn her highest heels, with only one thing in mind: Sex! Anne knew that Tommy's intelligence was lagging in the social areas, but she never thought he would be stupid enough to miss those signals.Anne knew that Tommy wasn't asexual, that had been obvious since he clogged up the shower-drain at thirteen. That drain had been too narrow, but still, his testicles would have to be very productive. She and Richard had had a few laughs over Tommy's hidden embarrassment, but she never thought she would have to confront him over a sexual matter.Now she had to. Composing herself she walked swiftly to Tommy's room and opened the door. He didn't even notice. And then she had to go and do it. She announced that she and her doofus boyfriend were getting married. Of course they were. That was the only thing Ms. Squeaky-Clean could do. I’m sorry ... MRS. Squeaky-Clean.My aunt “Shelly” was in the same boat as I was. She couldn’t stand Emily’s haughty attitude. Aunt Shelly was a lot more like me. Adventurous. Typically up to no good. Ya’ know? Fun! We decided we were going to try, one last time, to get Emily to have a little fun herself. Before it was too late. We agreed to get her friends together and give her a bachelorette party. Shelly and I hit the local “adult” stores. We bought little penis shaped straws. Foam rubber boobs to wear over your shirt. Anything silly and pervy we could think of. Marital aid gifts were something Shelly would take care of herself. She “knew a guy”. But the matter of the proper venue had to be decided on. A place we could take Emily without her suspecting anything. We didn’t want to arouse her suspicion until.
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