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I was grateful for soon we hadto report to the fashion house for our training as models. I was new tobeing a woman and they had helped me to quickly leave my old selfbehind.Several evenings a week I had to attend conversational French classes.The lessons helped and I developed a genuine Parisian accent but thegirls proved to be my best teachers. In the local bars and clubs Ilearnt how to fend off pushy males and how to flirt with the ones Ifancied. Fancied? Did I really say that? It was true. I was learning howto be an attractive young woman and play the nightclub scene. The girlsdidn't give me a chance to be my usual shy self. It was not long beforeI just loved dancing in skimpy sexy clothes, unashamedly showing off mycurvaceous body to the ogling males.Somehow it all felt so natural being a girl. Maybe it was the hormonesthat my female body generated. Still I couldn't let the girls in on mysecret. My male will power and dignity was seriously weakening. Oh how Iwanted to find out. My phone has been vibrating a couple of times in my breast pocket during my walk. I feel paralyzed just at the thought of looking at it, who has messaged me. I look around, as if someone ist watching me. As if someone watched me do...what I did. As if someone will tell everyone what I did....what WE did. Knowing that nothing will spare me from the cruel passing of time, I reach into the pocket and pull out my phone. The screen lights up brightly, hurting my eyes softly. The I see it. Four messages. All by 'Sabrina'. God. What the fuck did we do, honey, I ask myself. A swipe up reveals the contents of the messages:1st message: 'Dad, where are you?'2nd message: 'If you are scared, I won't tell mom or Jessica, anything!'3rd message: 'Just for my piece of mind: I don't regret it'4th message: 'I love you dad. Nothing will change that. We'll talk when you come back, k?'How can she say that, that she doesn't regret it? How could't she? I can't run away, I have to talk toher, this can't.
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