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She told me I could see Diane for five minutes.It is very difficult when you see the woman you love in pain. The acceptance of my love came as quite a shock to me. It wasn't a conscious thought, it just happened as walked towards her cubicle. It was quite different to the love I had for Shirley, making me reflect. Had I actually been in love with Shirley? Perhaps not, else I may have fought harder to keep her. Diane had been with me all my adult life, tucked away in a compartment in my mind, waiting to come out whenever the circumstances needed her. Now she needed me and in many ways that was better, to be needed rather than need.Diane was laying so still, her jaw bandaged tightly to prevent movement, drips draped down from plastic sachets into her left arm. Her right arm was plastered and the perpetual bleep of the monitor was the only sound. The nurse had told me that she shouldn't try to speak. I sat beside her and took her left hand in mine. At my touch she opened her eyes. She. It pelted the window of her third-floor apartment with a flat, staccato dit dit dit. She stared out the window, trying to keep her mind blank. If she didn't, she'd think about what she'd done, who she'd hurt, and how she'd never make up for it in a million years. A clip-clop sound rose over the cold drizzle and she got up and went over to the window. Despite the weather, she slid the window up, breathed in the frigid air and listened to the horse's hooves slap against the street. She loved to watch them go by; it was about the only thing she did love about the city anymore. I've lost everything else, she thought. She watched the horse go by, pulling its carriage behind. A couple sat on the bench seat, under their own blanket. Cuddling, she mused, not huddling like she was. No doubt they were warm; they probably chased each other's chills away with kisses and tender words. Her imagination filled in more details. "They're in love," she said aloud, even though she was alone. "Engaged,.
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