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I locked myself in my room and put on some porn. I thought about what just happened. Here she was, naked and letting me finger her clit -- and the deal breaker was seeing me jack off to her. I figured that she could justify almost anything as "youthful curiosity," but as anything involving my gratification was definitely sexual.If I had to do it over again, I would not have pulled down my pants. If I were to enjoy seeing her body ever again, it would have to be with my hands at my sides. I tested my willpower by watching the rest of the porn without touching myself.Over the next several days, mom continued to act uncomfortably around me and I practiced keeping it in my pants. I found that tight pants allowed me to rub my cock against something, just enough to gratify myself.Once I was sure of myself, I propositioned her anew. "Mom, I'm sorry for what happed the other day. I want what we had before and it doesn't have to be dirty." I thought that my admission that it was dirty would. He shook his head slowly and then took me in his arms. ‘You are absolutely amazing. I didn’t think of it but you did. You have no idea how amazing you are.’ His voice had the wonder and awe of a boy about to plunge headlong into his first crush over Miss First or Second-Grade teacher, the astonishment of that first time seeing a magician pull a long train of knotted handkerchiefs from his empty hand. I have a very good idea how much I blushed. I felt the heat on my skin all the way down my legs. It was still so hard to believe. I was used to being Ashley the aloof, the self-centered. No matter what I did, no matter how many times I received praise for something other than my looks, there was a small twinge of doubt it was real, a fear the old Ashley would return. But she wasn’t returning this evening. We drove to the bus station and sat on a bench holding hands and grinning stupidly. We didn’t have to keep a lookout for Sandy. We heard her squealing as she came at us like a missile..
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